Do they hate us?

When I lived in the Florida Keys, an area heavily dependent on tourism, I remember seeing a bumper sticker a time or two: “If it’s tourist season,” it asked, “why can’t we shoot them?”

The men officiating a sham wedding at Vilu Reef resort in the Maldives (video above) may have been asking themselves the same question. In the ceremony, conducted in the Dhivehi language for a Swiss couple, an officiator curses at the visitors and calls them infidels. (Warning: The clip contains explicit language.)

The Maldivian prime minister, Mohammed Nasheed, condemned the video and ordered the men responsible for the ceremony arrested.

Still, it makes you wonder if people hate us when we’re on vacation.

Maybe they do.

I’ve lived in cities that rely on tourism for most of my life, including the Keys, New York, Los Angeles and the San Francisco Bay Area, and it’s not a stretch to say that visitors aren’t always on their best behavior.

In Orlando, where I currently live, tourists often give us a reason to buy that bumper sticker.

Earlier this year, for example, a Connecticut man visiting Central Florida was arrested after allegedly asking an Orange County deputy posing as a 14-year-old girl to come to his hotel for sex. You tend to think of Thailand when you think of sex tourism, not family-friendly Orlando.

Last year, a German tourist was jailed after he told a cast member at Walt Disney World’s Magic Kingdom that he had two bombs in his backpack, according to authorities. Threatening to bomb Disney World. Real smart.

Crimes committed by visitors to Central Florida are so common that several Orlando-area law firms have developed a specialty in helping tourists who run afoul of the law.

That doesn’t mean people in Orlando, or any other destination with a tourism-dependent economy, hate outsiders. I think it’s fair to say that we wish certain visitors would stay home, but when you’re the number one tourist destination on the planet, you can’t be too choosy.

Beyond the criminals that go on vacation, is there anything else that tourists do to make us dislike them? Sure.

When I lived in Europe, we regularly made fun of our own countrymen. You could spot American tourists from a mile away: They were loud, dressed in bright colors and asked silly questions. No wonder people of my generation rolled their eyes when they talked about the Yankees they’d met.

Even when the tourists don’t break any laws, it’s not always easy to be nice to them. But like them? That might be asking too much.

Part of the reason the natives disdain the very people who are the source of their livelihood, I think, that their customer is there to have a good time. When your home is seen as nothing more than a playground, it’s bound to lead to misunderstandings and maybe resentment. I always envied the visitors I met when I worked for the simple reason that I had to work and they didn’t.

If there’s one place that has risen above all this — or at least tried — it’s Hawaii. I recently spent a few days in the 50th state, and was taken aback by the friendliness, which the residents refer to as the “Aloha spirit.”

I waited almost two weeks for cracks to appear in their Aloha, and with the possible exception of a surly waitress at the Wailana Coffee House in Waikiki, there was none. Pretty incredible, considering these folks have more reason than most to dislike the mainlanders who come to Hawaii to party.

The Maldives video doesn’t represent the way Maldivians feel about visitors, of course. They like the tourism dollars we bring to their island. They like us, in principle.

Is their friendliness put on? Sometimes. Do they like the way we behave? Not always. It’s the same way the world over.

By the way, no one ever shot a tourist while I lived in the Keys. That kind of thing only ever happened a little farther north.

  • http://www.kylehepp.com Kyle

    I have been to one other place that is also genuinely friendly to tourists, and that’s Costa Rica. My husband actually thought they were messing with us for the first week because they were so nice. Eventually we realized that the people there are just that cool and happy and laid back about tourists.

  • Jerryatric

    I just returned from a Russian trip. The only Canadians (wife) on an all American tour.
    No loud & obnoxious tourists, no bright coloured clothing were visible. Instead, quiet thoughtfull folk, who were truly interested in the history & cutlure. The only noticeable – the weight! Many ranged from very heavy to morbidly obese, BUT a more pleasant group ? hard to imagine.
    The main reason for the dislike is envy!

  • http://naoma@cheerful.com Naoma Foreman

    And what did this couple pay to be insulted by this so-called
    “ceremony?” It was disturbing to say the least!

  • Tom

    The varous names for tourists include flatlanders, off islanders, vals (from the valley), bennies and shoubies. Remember the hubub a few years ago when the Italians complained about Germans ruining their beaches. The Spaniards are negative on the British for the same reason. I’ve worked in retail and you are supposed to be gracious to your customer, but the things said in the backroom are quite different. Putting on a happy face and presenting a no problems attitude is required in most tourist jobs, but it’s usually a jive.

  • Christian C

    As I have traveled I was warned that Europeans hate Americans and not to let anyone know you are from America. Well in Greece I was welcomed and many shop owners complained mostly about the German tourists. While in Spain on another Trip I again was treated well but they in the area where I was biking, they had a sever dislike for the Brits as cheap loud tourist. In France I was never once given a cold shoulder or shunned and my French is so so lacking that I was ashamed for myself for the abuse I gave their language.

    But I recently watched a clip from a friend whose mom in England gave her a money belt to wear here in the states as she was so worried that daughter was coming to the lawless west with muggers and thieves waiting on every corner.

  • Alan

    We live in a tourist town (US west), and although we basically love and depend on tourists, we have our share of complaints about summer weekend traffic, tourists who take undue risks hiking the hills and need expensive rescues, and the newcomers who are befuddled by our new system of highway roundabouts.

    Right at the moment we happen to be tourists ourselves, in Barcelona, and as we mingle with the crowds at Sagrada Familia we wonder: what do they think of us?

  • Logan

    As a native Floridian, I understand that we tax the snot out of tourists to provide government revenue, but I’m usually not thinking of that when some yahoo with a New Jersey plate cuts across four lanes of traffic, including the one I’m travelling in. Nor am I considering that when I see a black Town Car with New York vanity plates *perfectly* double-parked at the local Chili’s.
    Honestly, I think it’s the lack of respect tourists (and snow birds!) have for the history, culture, and environment of the state that really aggravates me. Tourists forget to be humble guests.

  • Carrie Charney

    Sisters, OR, population 1906, is a tourist town in the high desert on the east side of the Cascades. The town hosts at least one festival per month. There are no parking fees in town. The friendly, welcoming service in stores and restaurants can match or outdo southern hospitality any time.

    My husband parked our RV in front of a residence while we attended the annual Sisters Folk Festival in September. When the owner came home, she invited us to hook up to her electricity supply for the long weekend. She also seemed a bit embarrassed at receiving a gift from us when we left. She said she hoped we’ll be back next year. Her attitude seemed indicative of the town’s.

  • Mary Graham

    I think the key to being treated well, no matter where you are, is being respectful. Usually when you give respect you get it, right?

  • Jeanne in NE

    @Mary Graham: Well said. I love to travel, since it’s for recreation as opposed to work. Part of the experience is respecting the people and the area for who and what they are. NYC is so very different in terms of cultural vibe than San Francisco, but both are delightful in their own ways.

    Funny story: I was in Rome with a large group of people from my archdiocese. Every morning, I’d walk to the corner bar/coffee shop and ask in badly accented, but polite Italian for a Diet Coke, please. One morning, they didn’t have any, but referred me to the shop 2 blocks up the street and assured me, in perfect English no less! (didn’t know they spoke English) that the lady there didn’t speak English, but had my Diet Coke for me.

    Respect is absolutely key!

  • Morton Brown

    As a resident of the 50th state (Hawaii), I can assure folks that our “aloha” spirit begins at home. We treat each other with aloha, and that carries over to the way we treat visitors. For instance, where else will you find drivers who courteously stop to allow cars to turn onto a main road with a smile and perhaps a shaka! Where else will you find residents who will ask obviously bewildered visitors with map in hand looking to find their way whether they can help them?

    If you don’t believe me, come to Hawaii and find out for yourself.

  • Les

    A cartoon I saw a few years ago showed a client talking to a travel agent. “I want to go somewhere where they don’t want to kill us,” he was saying.

    That year we spent three weeks in New Zealand, a tourist-dependent economy to be sure. We never encountered an unfriendly Kiwi or had a bad meal. Quite the contrary; everyone, regardless of whether they were part of the travel business or just the guy on the next bar stool, were helpful, funny and generous. Dining, wine and scenery were always good and often spectacular. Everyone at Air New Zealand, from the phone people to the guy in the Auckland lost luggage office (my mistake, not theirs) was a delight.

    Yeah – we’re going back.

  • S Smith

    I have to agree with @Logan, I live in AZ and every winter we get “snowbirds”. I’m a very kind person, but when it takes 2x as long to commute to work and the tourists break traffic laws more than the locals do, it makes it a little frustrating. I really don’t mind giving directions and advice, just please follow the traffic laws.

  • SirWired

    What is it that compels travel writers to pen yet another “boorish tourists” story? There is no more overdone subject. They all read the same, no matter who writes them, in no matter what country, and no matter what era they are written. “Tourists from [country X], [bonus points if they come from the author's own country, giving the author some false humility] are [loud/dress poorly/ignorant/uninformed/cheap/extravagant/buy silly stuff/etc.] Do they act this way when they are at home?”

    If you’ve read one of these, you’ve read them all…

  • Christopher Elliott

    @SirWired – you forgot the extra bonus points if they are from your own city. ;-)

  • Kevin

    I am an American living in Peru. Last time I traveled to the USA with my Peruvian partner, he was called a wetback, told to learn English and told to go back to Mexico, where he has never been.

    Also, 30% of US expats abroad never bother to learn the local language.

    If we are going to be offended by how these tourists were treated, and I think we should be offended, should we NOT ourselves set the example?

  • http://www.sanibel-rentals.net Sylvia

    Really despicable behavior. Contempt for outsiders can be found in lots of places, though, including Hawaii. The name for foreigners, Haole, is often said in contempt.

    The most friendly/helpful countries I ever found were Brazil, Ireland and the Dominican Republic. The least friendly/helpful were Mexico, Greece and Russia.

    But everyone has a different experience, depending on who they meet and what year it is and what the overall “political” situation is.

    Being an American in many places was not easy and it is worse in some areas of the world now.

  • Chicky

    As other posters have noted, it’s all about respect, respect, respect. When hubby and I were in Aruba, we noticed that Arubans generally like Americans, but then again, we really tried to be respectful and nice. We really did. However, there was a group of Americans who were the stereotypical “ugly” Americans. They drank too much, were loud and absolutely obnoxious.
    There was also a British couple who sat near us at breakfast one morning. We were at an all-inclusive hotel with a buffet, and really, there was nothing they didn’t have on that buffet, as far as breakfast was concerned. But those people were yowling about having “finally, a proper fry-up” for breakfast. You’ve got tree-ripened oranges and field-ripened pineapple from Venezuela, 25 miles away, and flown in the day before, homemade muesli, toast, an omelet station, made-to-order pancakes and waffles, meat, cheese, pastries and a dozen other choices and you’re griping because there’s a line for the bacon and eggs? Have mercy.
    My parents raised me to respect other people, and to rememeber whether I was in their home, or their country, that I was their GUEST and should conduct myself accordingly, respecting their homes and traditions.

  • Clifw

    Americans’ standing has gone up in the world recently, even in Paris. The new ones-to-hate are the Chinese package tours who now receive the exact same complaints as the Americans used to- loud, obnoxious, cheap.

    There was a very interesting study a few years ago how the ‘most hated’ group tends to go in cycles as countries emerge with an international-travelling middle class. Americans, compared to Europeans, don’t travel overseas in the same numbers (its probably changed due to the new Mexico/Canada regulations but, only 25% of Americans used to have a valid passport). As more and more Americans travel overseas, sensitivity (at both ends) improves. The Chinese are now at the point where the Americans were, travel-wise, in the 1970s/1980s- a whole lot of people with lots of disposable income suddenly travelling.

  • Joe M

    I’m reminded of an incident that happened to me in a tiny local bar on Ambergris Cay in Belize…

    I was having some quiet drinks and chatting with the locals in there (a couple taxi drivers) when a British expat who was supposedly developing an island in the area came in and spent about 10 minutes ranting and raving over a couple drinks. I don’t even know what it was about since I tuned out about 30 seconds into the tirade.

    After the locals finally got him calmed down and out the door, they turned to me and apologized for his behavior. As they put it, he forgot who paid his check. Then they bought my next couple rounds and we spent the next hour laughing at the expat’s expense.

    I’ve generally found that if you go someplace and act like the typical tourist, you’re gonna get hung out to dry the moment anything goes wrong. But, if you are friendly and try to get to know the locals you run into (and their culture), they tend to keep an eye out and help you stay out of trouble.

  • Leslie

    Chris, I totally agree with your take on the Aloha spirit in Hawaii. My husband and I have traveled to both Oahu and Kauai and we loved every minute of it, mostly because of how the locals treated us. They’re wonderfully gracious and courteous, and I would go back to Hawaii in a heartbeat!

    The only place I’ve traveled where I’ve been mortified by another American’s behavior is Mexico. We went into town for dinner one night, hoping to experience an authentic Mexican meal with a great atmosphere. We did find a fantastic place, but no sooner had we started our meals when an incredibly loud group of five couples sat down behind us.

    They treated our waiter like their personal servant and were incredibly rude. My husband and I were even more surprised when we turned around and realized they were at least 20 years older than us! At one point, one person in the group decided he didn’t like his appetizer, so he threw it off of the balcony we were sitting on into the swamp below (plate, food and all). It happened to hit an alligator sitting below us, so they started throwing dinner rolls at it (carbs are OBVIOUSLY part of an alligator’s well-balanced diet). We took this as our cue to leave and secretly hoped one of them would lean a little too far over the edge of the balcony. ;)

  • John Evans

    You will find idiots like this in every country.

    These guys probably earn $100 a month. So, seeing someone blow 5 years wages on a ceremony even the multilingual Swiss couldn’t understand (so therefore meaningless), might cause resentment.

    Doesn’t in any way excuse what they did, which was childish mean and spiteful. But they will loose their jobs which is probably punishment enough.

    Still better this than suicide bomber.

  • Jesse

    I live in San Diego and during the summer months there is plenty people from neighboring states coming over to spend some time.

    We enjoy being a city that welcomes people but when they start getting in the middle of your daily life in a bad way (looking for addresses and slowing people while driving), Taking their time while getting out of parking spaces…

    The tourist season spans from April till the end of November because of the extreme temperatures in the desert, and that’s another irritating factor, tourists are around all the time.

    If we all as tourists would work on our manners as well…

  • Amanda

    Just to add my two cents: I recently took a trip to Forks, WA, known to most as the setting for that pop culture phenomenon, the Twilight Saga. I went with a group of other (yes, I’ll admit it) Twilight fans, mostly women between 25-65. We were a huge group, and I was apprehensive – what must the locals think of the crazy ladies taking pictures with random objects in their small town, posing with big grins next to places “from the book?”

    I was really surprised by how incredibly hospitable everyone was! I’m sure that not everyone in Forks was thrilled to have us, but mostly everyone was not just tolerant, but welcoming and friendly. They would have been well within their rights to roll their eyes at grown women acting like giggly teenagers, but we did our best to be respectful and polite, and they were very hospitable in return. Now I’d love to go back, for the gorgeous natural beauty and great people!

  • Ed

    My best Hawaiian “Aloha Spirit” story was when me and my wife were walking on a path in Waikiki past the Ala Moana park. Green grass on one side, the ocean on the other. While we were walking through the park, a large Hawaiian man (*VERY* native looking) was unloading a pickup full of food onto 8 picnic tables that were pushed together. As my wife and I passed him, I commented that *Something* smelled good (we had yet gone to dinner). This large fellow, turned to us and grinned and in pidgen english, said that we were welcome to join him and his family for dinner. He said that nobody in the family would mind and they always welcome strangers!
    Well, we, being from the “don’t trust no one” east coast and living in the “you gotta be kidding me” suburbs of Washington DC, we politely turned down his generous offer, and walked away surprised at the offer…In hind site, we should have accepted…what a better story *THAT* would have made!

  • OldDan

    Another perspective. I live near Bar Harbor, Maine and Acadia National Park. Summers are filled with tourists. Years ago, I was a tourist and decided to stay.
    First, we love you. You are the economy here for 6 months of the year.
    Second, we don’t have a Starbucks and *surprise* we have survived without one! Cell phone service is bad too.
    Third, when you ask me what is a good place to eat, let me finish! Do you want lobster? Steak? Family fare?
    Fourth, you tell me you have 1 day and ask what to see? Why did you drive to this end of the earth for a one day stay?
    In short, this ain’t New York City. If you wanted that, there are many convenient, daily non-stop flights to NYC from almost every airport in the US.
    Come enjoy the scenery and the people. Leave the attitude.

  • http://www.executivetoursireland.com/ tours Ireland

    see what i think this is the worst thing tourist crime or some what we hares the tourist by doing this we are making bad image of our country.