What should I do with all of these Lenovo cases?

Note: Today marks the beginning of a new journey, as Elliott becomes a general consumer advocacy site. This feature is being renamed “Should I Take This Case?”

It’s like an old Twilight Zone episode.
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Help, my Lenovo laptop is cursed

Santosh Thakur’s laptop is plagued by problems. He wants Lenovo to take it back. Why won’t it?
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