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Stupid Users? No, Stupid Technology
The Travel Technologist · March 22, 2001

Ever heard the one about the traveler who kept getting paged by someone named Lucille?

The despondent user phoned tech support for help. He wanted to call Lucille and ask her to stop beeping him, but she hadn't left a return number. After a few minutes of back and forth, the technician finally asked: "How does Lucille spell her name?"

To which the customer replied: "L-O-W C-E-L-L."

There are dozens, perhaps even hundreds, of variations on this joke - many of them based on half-truths, most of them made up by frustrated tech-support workers. A vast majority of the humorous anecdotes end with a discovery that the battery wasn't charged, or the phone wasn't plugged in, or the electric cord wasn't anywhere near a socket.

Ha, ha, ha.

They laugh at us, because they think we're stupid. And you know what? We agree with them. We fork over good money for "how-to" books that are "for dummies" and "complete idiots." We let technicians tell us that it's not the PC that's faulty - it's our intellect. We buy it.

Meanwhile, the pollsters and pundits sit on the sideline in silence. They could be shedding light on this issue by asking tough questions of their clients, but why embarrass the folks who pay the bills? I checked with everyone from The Gallup Organization to Forrester Research to see if they'd ever conducted surveys on technology usability, but apparently it's too much of a hot button issue. Are they afraid of what they might find?

Microsoft, while neither confirming nor denying it's to blame for our troubles, thinks it's got the solution: another operating system. No sooner did I finish evaluating Windows ME in this column than the boys in Redmond rolled out a sequel to Windows 2000 that's codenamed Windows XP, which is short for "Experience." XP cost more than $1 billion to develop, which is about as much as Bill Gates makes in an hour.

Here are a few things I'd like to experience, in no particular order:

  • An OS that starts up in less than 30 seconds.
  • A system that doesn't freeze incessantly.
  • More intuitive file management.
  • The ability to reset key system components without having to be a programmer.
Good technology empowers users; it doesn't make them feel like morons. What do I mean? Here are a few gadgets and programs that I think are worthy examples:

Symantec's WinFax programs are a pleasure to use. They're not fidgety and they know their place. WinFax lurks in the background until a fax arrives and then it discreetly jumps into action, dealing with the incoming transmission and filing it away in Microsoft Outlook. I have used lots of fax programs but none - not one of them - is as user-friendly as this one. Oh, and I almost forgot: I'm on the low-grade "starter" version, and I still love it. WinFax Pro comes with even more features, including the ability to send a fax to an e-mail address in a self-viewing format and to forward a received fax as a self-viewing e-mail attachment. It also lets you automatically sends faxes with photo quality images. Price: $119.

I'm still in awe of my Sprint NP1000. Despite its many features, the one attribute I like best about it is that you somehow know where to turn it on, how to dial and where to talk into. The same can't be said of other cell phones, which you wouldn't want to travel with unless you also packed the manual. The NP1000 responds to voice commands like "call home" and it's also Web-ready, which for today's cell phones is nothing remarkable, but a year ago when I got it, that was something noteworthy. Can't wait to see what the next generation of cell phones will look like. But first Sprint has to get this one back from me. Price: $59.

The Mac OS X, which should be available at about the same time this column appears, improves on the most user-friendly operating system since the invention of computers. But this top-to-bottom overhaul of Apple's popular OS, which includes a new "finder," improved file management, and enhanced personalization, leaves its original philosophy intact. And that is, simply, not to antagonize people by forcing them to learn how to use a computer, but to build an operating system that works the way people think it ought to. As a convert to the PC by necessity (not choice) I miss the way in which the Mac OS handles files. You don't have to go climbing up one of those hierarchical file trees like you do on a PC. Price: $129 from Apple's online store.

As a frequent traveler, there's one other piece of technology that makes me feel smart: the adaptor kit. International trips invariably dumb you down more than they ever should, and I'm not just talking about language barriers. When the phone cord doesn't match, you're turned into joke material for the techies. Don't let that happen to you. I bought the whole enchilada - a worldwide adapter kit. It includes 7 electric and 32 telephone adapters most commonly required for connections anywhere in the world, plus an 8-foot modem cord, an in-line coupler, and a more compact ballistic nylon carrying case to hold adapters on individual trips. I don't carry the whole thing with me when I travel; the darned thing weighs almost 58 ounces and takes up more room than a notebook computer. But I do cherry-pick from it anytime I leave the country. Price: $299 from LaptopTravel.com.

Remember, you're not a dummy. Nor are you a complete idiot. If anything, the technology you travel with is. Choose what you take on the road with you carefully - otherwise you might become joke material for your company's help desk.

I'm not kidding.

Christopher Elliott is a travel commentator based in Annapolis, Md. All e-mailed questions may be edited, condensed or republished at the site's discretion. The Travel Technologist appears weekly on this site. This story was also published on Biztravel.com.