In 2014, beware of the word “free”

Mega Pixel/Shutterstock
Mega Pixel/Shutterstock
How dumb do they think you are?

As the dust settled on the now-finished holiday shopping season, I couldn’t help but wonder. One study concluded it was one of the strongest seasons in recent memory, adding that more than seven shoppers said they plan to take advantage of “free shipping” offers, while nearly half expect “free” returns.

I nearly choked on my espresso when I read that. Did they just say “free”?

Right about now, half of you are saying to yourself: TANSTAAFL! That’s shorthand for “There ain’t no such thing as a free lunch,” and you’re right, of course. Bonus points if you can tell me which Robert Heinlein book it’s from. (Yeah, I grew up reading sci-fi novels.)

The other half? “Grinch!” (Belatedly.) Or worse.
Continue reading…


There’s no such thing as “free” when you travel

Sam72/Shutterstock
Sam72/Shutterstock
Chase lied. United Airlines lied.

At least that’s how Marc Blumenthal sees it. When United offered him a United MileagePlus Explorer Card, which included a “free checked bag” for cardholders, it misrepresented the product in a significant way.

Blumenthal tried to get his “free” bag on his next United flight, but a gate agent insisted on charging him.

“I was told that in order to get the first checked bag free, I need to pay for the flight with the Chase credit card,” he says.
Continue reading…


Spring broke: 6 secrets for traveling free

The promise of a free vacation used to be such a predictable come-on from a shady timeshare salesman or a questionable travel club, that all but the most gullible travelers ignored it.

Not anymore.

Free isn’t just a legitimate goal for your next trip. It might be a realistic one, too.

Sure, the criminals pushing useless fractional ownerships and pyramid schemes are still out there, and you still have to beware of them. But Shannon Huffman Polson discovered that in a recessionary economy, you can score a free vacation, or something close to it.

For an upcoming trip to New Zealand with her husband, Polson is cashing in 80,000 airline miles (a free ticket) staying with friends (free accommodations) and hiking in the great outdoors (also free). When they aren’t staying in someone’s home, they’ll be camping (free). Polson, a former marketing executive who lives in Seattle, figures they’ll have to spring for a few nights at a hotel, so the trip won’t be totally free. “But we’ll be saving money while seeing the country,” she told me.

Polson is hardly alone. Travelers are no longer content with a bargain. Now they want everything free.

The travel industry knows it. The major American destinations didn’t wait for the National Bureau of Economic Research to declare the U.S. economy in a recession before releasing their lists of free things to do around town. Did you know, for example, that the Port of Houston Authority offers a free 90-minute cruise along the Houston Ship Channel? Or that The Indianapolis Museum of Art, one of the top art museums in the country, always offers free admission?

Can travel companies do better? They’re trying. It all depends what your definition of “free” is. There’s an abundance of two-for-one offers, but they require that you spend money. For instance, as I write this, the Rosen Shingle Creek here in Orlando has an offer that lets you book four nights and stay an additional three nights for “free.” Likewise, the Orlando World Center Marriott offers the fourth night free when you book four nights.

If your concept of “free” is a little more flexible — and the travel industry thanks you in advance for that — then you can always burn some of those hard-earned award miles for your next vacation. You paid a lot of money to earn those points, of course. I asked my friends over at Expertflyer.com, who track mileage redemptions, if they’ve seen any uptick in the rates at which passengers are cashing in miles for award tickets and upgrades, and was told there’s “a definite interest” although it’s still too early to call it a full-fledged trend.

But let’s keep our old school definition of “free” for the purposes of this story. How do you travel without paying?

1. Reset your expectations
If you think you’ll visit a theme park, luxury hotel or cruise ship and not pay a dime, you might be disappointed. As a result, a lot of travelers have changed their vacation expectations, says travel expert Pauline Frommer. “There seems to be a different mindset governing the entire enterprise,” she told me. “People seem to be more interested in the destination — its cultural aspects, its attractions, its history — than obsessing over their hotel rooms, the hottest clubs or meal choices.” Of course, culture is relatively inexpensive when compared with indulgences like a spa visit or a gourmet meal. Some of it is even free.

2. Network with other freeloaders

The Internet is buzzing with forums and blogs dedicated to free travel opportunities. Those include sites such as Couchsurfing, which connects locals and travelers, and Global Freeloaders which helps you find free accommodations. “People on these sites open their homes to travelers who want to not only stay for free, but who also want to make connections in the places they are visiting,” says Susanna Zaraysky, author of the upcoming book “Travel Happy, Budget Low.” “It’s a great way to meet new people.” Zaraysky says she’s “couchsurfed” in Los Angeles, Chicago, Berlin, Frankfurt and is about to stay at a farmhouse in the countryside for nine days at zero cost.

3. Get a travel job
There are lots of jobs that let you travel without paying. You could join the legions of whiny business travelers, who have just about managed to suck all the fun out of traveling. Or you could become a whiny travel writer like me. My colleagues and I happily finish the job the road warriors started, and yes, some of them often don’t pay a dime. You could become a courier, a travel agent or a flight attendant, too. If none of those sound appealing — and I wouldn’t blame you if you said “no” to all of the above — then you might just organize a large group of people who want to travel. All you need is 30 people for a cruise or tour, and you travel free, according to Sharon Emerson, who by way of full disclosure is a travel agent but seems to like it.

4. Go to the park
You’d expect any story about “free” travel to include at least a mention of a state or national park. I don’t want to disappoint you. While it’s a fact that some parks are free, most aren’t. For example, last weekend we visited Canaveral National Seashore, one of the most pristine beaches on Florida’s east coast, and we paid $6 to drive in. It costs nothing to walk. But it was well worth the money, especially when compared to a theme park or a resort hotel. Plus, it made for some terrific snapshots of the kids. If you live in a state with many parks, you might consider investing in an annual pass. For just $43, I can buy a year of unlimited access to every Florida State Park, which is considerably less than what a lot of theme parks charge for a one-day admission.

5. Get a smarter phone
One of the biggest controllable travel expenses, particularly for anyone like me who obsessively checks his Facebook, Twitter and e-mail account, is the mobile phone. Add in overseas roaming charges, and you’re looking at taking out a second mortgage when you come home. It’s difficult to turn off your phone in an always-on world, but until the wireless companies are forced to stop charging usurious roaming fees, it’s best to power down your beloved handset. There are better ways to stay in touch. For example, Truphone is an application that allows you to make calls to other landlines, cell phones and send text messages to other phones using a Wi-Fi network. (There’s a charge for those calls, but calls to phones with Truphone accounts are free.) Or you can use a service like Skype to make free Internet-based phone calls from your computer.

6. Be creative
Francesca McLin’s cruises, from Puget Sound to the Chesapeake Bay to Bermuda, have been on the house — or, in this particular case, the boat. How so? She signed up as a crewmember. “In terms of travel costs, chartering a sailboat in most parts of the world will cost more than $3,000 week, and $6,000 if you hire a captain,” says McLin, who runs a blog about free travel. “My trips as crew cost me less than $200 each, which went toward shared food expenses while onboard and fare back home.” Now, this kind of adventure is definitely not for someone like me who turns green on a seesaw. But McLin’s experience makes an important point to the bargain-finders among us. If we want something free, we have to look beyond the ads in the Sunday travel section.

You probably think I’ll wrap up this column by saying something cute about the best things in life being free. Except that’s not true for travel. You’ll still have to pay something to get there, and unless you eat at a soup kitchen, you’ll need to fork over a few bucks for food as well.

But it is true that our new focus on traveling for less has freed us from our enslavement to meaningless creature comforts and mindless amusements. And we may have a better vacation because of it.