Best. Comeback. Ever.

Phishing scams are getting so sophisticated that even the smartest people can fall for them. These so-called spear phishing traps demand a smart answer. Jack Healey has the perfect comeback.

First, let’s have a look at the email he received from one of these fraudsters.

Bear in mind, this came from a friend, as most spear phishing attempts do. So it looked almost real.

Hello,

How are you doing? Hope all is well with you and family, I am sorry i didn’t inform you about my traveling to England for a Seminar.

I need a favor from you as I’ve misplaced my wallet on my way to the hotel where my money and other valuable things were kept i will like you to assist me with an urgent loan of $3,100 to sort-out my hotel bills and get myself back home.

I will appreciate whatever you can afford to help me with and i’ll refund the money back to you as soon as i return. Please kindly help me to send the money through Western union with my details below.

[Details redacted.]

Kindly help me to make the transfer as soon as you receive this email and once you have it sent, send me the money transfer control number with details used in sending it.

Thanks so much.

Now, you know what to do when something like that, don’t you? Delete it.

But Healey decided to have a little fun. Here’s his outrageous reply:

Hello ,

Sorry to hear of your predicament, old chap. Fear not; help is on its way.

I have a friend in the fraud squad. He is on his way to your hotel. Let me know what room you are in he will be more than happy to help you.

His phone number is 999 — just ask for the fraud squad.

I think that sends the right message.

Spear phishing is no laughing matter. Thousands of people fall for this trick every day. The criminals perpetrating these acts are not to be played with, but if you decide to reply, you can be inspired by Healey’s witty comeback.

I sure was.

(Photo: JeanFrançois Chénier/Flickr Creative Commons)

  • Steve Surjaputra

    If you want to read some more great comebacks, go to http://www.scamorama.com. They love to string these scanners along. No holds barred.

  • Mekhong Kurt

    LOVE IT, Christopher! What a great comeback!!!

  • Cassivella

    The problem with responding to any fraudulent email is that you verify your e-mail address as valid – which makes it more valuable to people who buy lists of e-mail addresses.

    So, the best thing is to simply hit “delete”, or you will soon start seeing significantly more ads for Viagra, WOW Gold, and e-mails from your lost friends in Nigeria.

  • Charles Lichtenwalner

    Got the following from a woman I met in Morocco some years ago. We exchanged pictures and then nothing for 2 to 3 years. She is very educated and erudite so the wording and grammar tipped me off:

    “Hi
    Happy to reach you by email with the hope that everything works perfect for you and I’m sorry for not informing you about my trip to England for seminar, Unfortunately I misplaced my wallet where I kept my money and other relevant document on the way to my apartment and I’m sending this message to you with inconveniency cuz I need your financial assistance with an urgent loan of $2500usd to tide my self over and to insure my safe return home as soon as I can and I’ll appreciate whatever you can afford to assist me out of my misfortune, I promise to pay you back as soon as I returned home so please kindly let me know and i’ll send you details to transfer the loan.
    I will be waiting to read back from you.”

    Never sent a reply and never heard another word.

    I did call her home in Maine and got a voicemail saying she could not come to the phone “for some time”, I assumed becasue she was on a trip somewhere.

  • Geoff

    I am frankly surprised that you would even post this article. Never reply to an e-mail of that nature. You have just confirmed that the e-mail is active and now sellable. This , as well as those stupid enough to respond with $$$, is the reason for such e-mails being sent. The “Delete” key is the most important key on the board.

  • Meredith Putvin

    Unfortunately, Chris, this was highly irresponsible. As was stated above, you have now opened yourself up for more trouble. This is clearly not *On Your Side*

  • http://www.travelswithnathan.com Nathan

    We recently got into scam baiting. When we got a mail from a supposed Reverend John Tony about the rental, which my girlfriend immediately recognized as fraud, we decided to have a bit of fun.

    Among other thing we were sent an extensive questionnaire. Have a look at our responses.

    1)Your Full Name – Damien Dobles
    2)Your Full Address & Phone Number PO Box 666 Calle Mucho Dolor, El Muerto, Jalisco
    3)How old are you? 37
    4)Are you married? Marriage of convenience.
    5)How many people will be living in the house? 2 or 3.
    6)Do you have a pet? A time share shark
    7)Do you have a car? A hummer
    8)Occupation? Con artist.
    9)What is your religion? Cannibal
    10)How many Months do you want to Rent? For the rest of your natural (or unnatural) life.

    The scammer wanted us to pay by Western Union or MoneyGram (right). We told the scammer these services weren’t available and I actually got the bank account info. I reported this to Chase (the bank in question) and to Yahoo for violating the TOS.

  • Clairebight

    Oh, poor thing; I’m so sorry that the bank, or your close relatives or friends can help. Of cours, I will.  The money’s on its way.  Oh, and here’s the confirmation number:  SCAM911.  I hope you like pink because when you or your accomplice picks up the money, you’ll be presented with a matching pair of bracelets; they may be pink or blue, but most likely, stainless steal.  Talk to you real soon.