What a great idea! Honor your crew — wear a tie when you fly

Yesterday’s rant about rude passengers in my MSNBC column drew a suggestion from a reader that I wanted to share with you. It came from James Phillippe, who, like many of us, is tired of air travelers who misbehave.

He writes,

I have experienced the inconsiderate traveler many times. I don’t have a forum to say or do anything about this bad behavior. So I have decided to tell others what I am going to do. I have decided to always wear a tie when I am flying to honor the hard-working flight crews and tell them why I am wearing it.

I have decided to make it a bright red one so others won’t miss it. Please forward this idea to other guys and help me spread the word. I don’t know what to ask the girls to wear, but maybe a red bow would be good.


I like that idea.

Not because flight attendants are victims who need our charity. These good men and women applied for their jobs and love what they do. They don’t deserve our charity, as some media observers have suggested in the wake of the Steven Slater meltdown. But they do deserve our respect.

Dressing up makes sense for passengers, too. A survey commissioned a few years ago by Fodor’s Travel Publications found that 77 percent of the men and 68 percent of the women said they dress up when traveling because they get better service. They reportedly concluded that dressing up is the secret to getting the full can of Coke, the cherished upgrade, and individual attention.

I wonder what would happen if more passengers dressed Old School when they traveled. You know, a little less Easy Rider, a little more Mad Men?

Could a simple tie, or bow, restore civility to the skies?

There’s only one way to find out. If you like this idea, pass it on to a friend.

(Photo: r ust man/Flickr Creative Commons)

  • shruti

    It is my personal pet peeve when I see people dressed sloppily for travel. I’m not talking about jeans and a t-shirt, I’m talking about sweatpants with words written across the butt and pajamas. I don’t think we should all dress in a tie or a suit or dresses, but I think looking like we put a little effort into our appearance is a good thing. I think it’s easy to find comfortable but neat clothing even for international flights.

    I guess I should note that those sweatpants with words on the butt are a personal pet peeve in or out of an airtube. I should also note that I am in my 20s, so I’m not some “fuddy-duddy” wishing for the good ‘ol days. =)

  • Toni

    Anyone who thinks that how one dresses shouldn’t affect how one is treated is living in a dream world. How you choose to dress is a BEHAVIOR, and behavior is exactly what we are supposed to base our treatment of each other on.
    Studies have shown that female flight attendants and gate agents in dresses or skirts are far less likely to be physically accosted by a passenger and are treated better by customers.
    As a flight attendant, I can tell you that of COURSE those who are better dressed get better service, in general, everywhere; planes aren’t any different. If you are in a business suit I may assume you are a frequent flier with elite status, whether you are or not. I certainly should assume that you might become one if you are flying for business. The whole “dress for success” thing of the ’80s needs to make a reappearance — and QUICK.

  • Dang

    The French has this motto: L’habit ne fait pas le moine. Don’t be ridiculous.
    Wearing ties is only caucasian value and drag.
    Civility is in your head and in your manner. Respect yourself and people will respect you.
    Travel are still a pleasure outside USA. Take a flight with SWISS, THAI, ANA, EVA or WESTJET and feel the difference.

  • Kevin

    I tend to dress up when traveling – I do it because I enjoy what I wear and feel comfortable in my clothes. However, I really wish airlines would institute dress codes. I have zero problems with individuality, style, culture, and fashion trends…however, some passengers are just beyond inappropriately dressed. I’ve seen everything from see-through, to pajamas on adults, and clothes barely hanging on people’s backs.

    I believe there is a difference between individuality, style, culture, and fashion trends – and what’s appropriate. You can tell how uncomfortable it makes other people (passengers) feel when they are stuck sitting next to someone with their bossoms popping through, people not dressing age appropriately, or barely wearing clothes at all.

    If Southwest Airlines and others can institute a purchase an additional seat based on your weight, they should be allowed to boot someone for their lack of appropriate attire.

  • Sarah Di

    Shruti, I’m in my 20s too and can’t stand the pants with writing on the butt. But then, I make sure to put on at least jeans/shorts and a tank top/t-shirt, even when I’m just running to the grocery store. The minimum is clean, real clothes. When I run there after work and I’m in my business casual work clothes, I feel way dressed up! I’m all about comfort but if I’m up for the day, I don’t want to look like I just got out of bed!

  • http://www.all-about-guatemala.com/bc Benjamin Barnett

    I like the idea – the only problem is that at least when flying internationally from Guatemala to the US or anywhere else, where I live and work, is I practically have to get undressed (mandatory to take ties, belt, shoes OFF) no matter if the metal detector goes off or not. I’ve started traveling in clean athletic clothes, though they don’t look as “nice” just to prevent having to tuck everything back in and get dressed in front of 100 people in a security line. They blame this on the US security regulations.

  • Victor Ozols

    My dad was a pilot for Eastern Airlines when I was growing up. Since we flew standby, we were required to wear jackets and ties (or something similarly formal for women and girls). My memories of flying as a kid always involve uncomfortable navy blue dress jackets and clip-on ties. I think the idea was that full-fare-paying passengers would be more comfortable sitting next to people who looked “presentable,” as it was called at the time. Of course, air travel was more of a special occasion back then, and most people dressed up to some extent. But before we lose ourselves in the good old days, I also remember barely being able to breathe because of so much cigarette smoke in the airplanes.

  • http://qbubbles.wordpress.com qbubbles

    On the 21 hour flight from New York to Narita, you can tell me how comfortable wearing a tie is.

    Unless you’re going to a business meeting right after stepping off the plane, I dont see the need to dress up to sit in a tiny chair and fight for breathing room. I can be respectful and kind to anyone in jeans and a hoodie. And I honestly try to be. I go out of my way to smile to all of the flight staff as soon as I get on a plane because I know that if something goes down, I will really want one of them in my corner.

    In my experience, the folks causing the biggest issues and most ruckus are the ones who are dressed to the nines and assume they are entitled to everything.

  • Ed

    Unfortunately, wearing a tie goes against the style of dress and the attitude my attire promotes.
    I wear exclusively Hawaiian Aloha shirts. Summer, winter, inbetween…At work, lounging at home, working in the yard, I live Aloha every day through the shirt I wear. While I do have some that are more formal than others, the very attitude of the Hawaiian Aloha shirt eschews formality and instead, promotes comfort and familiarity over pomposity and formality!
    But *ALL* of my Hawaiian shirts are nicely laundered and ironed and very presentable. If the shirt begins to show signs of wear, I retire the shirt and it doesn’t get worn again…instead it goes into a shadow box and hung on the wall in my Hawaii room. But I do agree with other sentiments here…when did wearing pajamas in public become the in thing? Are parents that permissive today that they don’t even regulate how their offspring are perceived in public and how that reflects upon them? A parent who dresses formally in a suit and tie, yet their child goes to the mall in house shoes and pajamas, just tells me that the parent can’t be bothered, and as an extension, is not someone I want to do business with!

  • Josh

    I think putting a necktie on and telling the flight staff it is to honor them is condescending and rude. Instead I dress comfortably and try to actually treat the flight attendants with respect. I say please and thank you. I look at them and smile when talking with them. I try to be pleasant and understanding when dealing with them. I wait my turn and am patient when they are busy. I don’t expect them to serve my every whim. I don’t know about all the flight crews out there, but my guess is that they would rather have people be pleasant, polite and wearing casual clothing then someone being a jerk wearing a necktie.

    I also think that the changes in air travel have nothing to do with people not getting dressed up. When air travel was a big deal and done infrequently it may have made sense. When airlines treated passengers with respect it may have made sense. It is not surprising to me that people dress more casually now then they did when flying thirty years ago. Not only have the times changed, but respect is a two way street. Don’t sell me a ticket that I can’t exchange or refund even though you will resell the same seat, pocketing my fare, my change fee, and the new customers fare. Don’t charge me for the baggage, the check-in, the carry-on, the water, the toilet, and anything else you can. Show the customer respect and the customer will show the airlines respect.

  • John

    I am now 18, and I have been traveling internationally alone 2 times a years since I was 14. I always wear a blazer and a polo when I fly internationally, and I always dress nicely when I fly domestic. And Almost every time I have flown internationally, I have asked for and gotten an upgrade, some times even to first class, not just business. The key is I am always very polite, while most people who ask for an upgrade are rude.

  • Katie

    I agree with Shruti and Sarah Di – another girl in her 20s here, and if I see one more pair of those stupid sweatpants with words on the butt, I’ll lose it! I don’t think people need to wear suits and ties on flights, and I sort of get that some people on long-distance flights need to sleep – but you’re still in public. For women, some sundresses are basically the same comfort level as a nightgown. That and a sweater and you’re good to go.

    What makes me craziest is when I fly from NYC to Pittsburgh (or vice versa); the flight is about an hour long, and I can’t believe how people dressed. Like they literally went from their hotel to the airport without changing clothes. I know some people maybe are changing flights and have been in the air awhile, but . . . Really? My rule is, if I could wear it for 8 – 10 hours on a regular day and be comfortable, then I can wear it on a plane and be comfortable. The least dressed I’ll go is nice jeans, a decent top (not a tshirt), and decent shoes. I flew to Paris in this and didn’t even remotely feel uncomfortable.

    Anyway, while I wouldn’t go so far as to tell men to wear a tie for flight attendants, I like the general idea of just showing respect. That’s how a former drama professor put dressing up for going to the theater: You do it to show respect for the people who are essentially working for you.

  • Michelle

    I say giving a little respect is more important than what you wear but everyone has a different way of showing it. Being respectful to anyone, flight attendants included, is just the right thing to do. It is a little far fetched for someone to call wearing a bow tie condescending.

    I don’t care what people are wearing as long as they don’t smell like BO, or a bottle of perfume. Someone can have “lucky” or anything else written across the butt as long as it is covered. Doesn’t bother me if someone wants to look like an idiot as long as they are wearing clothes.

  • Montalban

    I think a tie is a little over the top, but certainly some sort of polo shirt and non-holey jeans would get you a better reception at a service counter than a t-shirt, shorts, and flip-flops would get you.

    I’ll start dressing old-school when airlines start acting like they did back in the ‘old’ days. Food service, more leg room. It used to be glamorous to fly, now it’s just the way to get from here to there.

  • Morton Brown

    I agree with those who feel that pajamas, and other “inappropriate” clothing should not be worn. Since virtually all of my flights are long (5 hours or more), and since I want to be comfortable, I have fixed on a clean sweat shirt and clean blue jeans as my usual wear for air travel. Even without a tie or suit, however, I remain committed to courtesy in dealing with the flight crew and my fellow passengers.

  • Clifw

    I tend to wear jeans because my crash investigator uncle recommended them to me as being good for going down emergency slides without tearing the underside of your thighs off.

    Everything else unfortunately has fallen victim to the overall unpleasantness of flying. Shoes- I weant Converse sneakers because I can slip them on and off whilst standing in a security line. If its winter, I’m wearing my bulkiest coat because if I packed it I’d need to pay for checked baggage. Generally, its always layers because I find the temperature in planes either boiling or frigid. I don’t even wear a belt anymore because its just one more thing to take off and then get back on whilst being rear-ended by a family of 5.

    Oddly enough, I find I am more careful with my look on certain airlines more than others. Air France or Singapore Airlines I make sure I’m very presentable. American Airlines or Delta- why bother?

  • Clifw

    I didn’t think of this originally, but my work rarely requires me to wear a suit. Once I was flying to a secret job interview, so I had a suit on. The plane was packed and I was in my fourth middle seat in four flights over two days. Amazingly, the flight attendant asked, out of nowhere, if I’d like the last aisle seat a few rows back.

    Perhaps I need to re-evaluate my American Airlines dresscode.

  • Steve

    To each his own, and I certainly support any effort to be considerate to the flight attendants and to other passengers. Rude passengers bother me, too. However, since I generally wear a tie approximately once a year, if that, count me out of this exercise. If my employer isn’t going to require me to wear a tie at the destination of my business trip, I’m not going to put one on in an attempt to impress my fellow passengers.

    What I wear on the plane is either business-casual, if I went straight from a customer site to the airport, or casual otherwise. Yes, that means jeans/shorts, T-shirt, etc. I don’t see how it’s anyone’s business but mine. (But I do avoid cologne, in case someone seated near me is sensitive to it, and I’d never fly without having showered that morning, so I can pretty much guarantee I won’t offend your sense of smell).

    I do make a point of being friendly/polite to the flight attendants whether or not it’s reciprocated…saying hello with a smile as I board the flight, thanking them as I leave, and always saying please/thank you as they serve drinks and collect the trash.

  • Walt Blackadar

    Whatever happened to just being polite and expecting the same in return? This is a mode of transportation (it’s a flying bus), not a fashion show.

  • http://www.roamingtales.com Caitlin @ Roaming Tales

    As a woman, I’d feel pretty ridiculous in a tie.

  • Karen

    I’d be interested to know what airline Josh flies. I do know of a single airline in the last 15 years where you could merely ask for an upgrade, especially internationally, and just be given one! The rules for upgrade eligibility are extensive and are based on elite status and fare class. I’d love to find one that doles them out for being well dressed and polite.

  • http://www.nomadicnotes.com/ James Clark

    I always enjoy seeing my fathers photos when he travelled around the world in the early 60′s. he was in group of young men and they wore suits (Mad Men style) everywhere.

    I don’t have a tie in my wardrobe but I certainly agree to dressing respectably, whether it is flying or just going down the street for groceries.

  • Bill

    A tie sounds pretty uncomfortable on a plane. How about an end to the flip flops, the trashy nails, and the “tourist wear”. A modicum of politeness and no pushing and shoving would also help.

  • http://lorihenry.ca Lori Henry

    I find being polite goes a long way. :) I do wish for a time, in general, where people dressed up more. People used to wear hats (not ball caps), pocket watches, and smoked long cigarettes. But I’m way too casual and spend way too much time on the road to actually put that much thought into what I wear. I usually think to myself, “Am I dressed reasonably enough that if I ran into an Editor or colleague I would still feel comfortable?”

  • Albert

    I wonder how many of the commenters here actually do 8-20 hours transpac/transatl flights on a regular basis?

    Do it just 5 times a year and see if you’d still wear a tie everytime or complain about “butts with words on them”. Since when do we care or judge what people wear?

    You know what I wore in first class a few months back? A pair of vibram fivefingers, a pair of jeans, and a sweaty white t-shirt because I’d been running around London the whole day! Was flying on BA going from London to Singapore (coincidentally it was the best flight I’ve ever taken). Continuing home we took Qantas from Singapore to Sydney and flew in business. You know what 90% of the people did? They took the pajamas offered by Qantas and changed into them.

    Or should Qantas have not offered them pajamas?

    C’mon people, it’s just a big bus that flies. Respect others, smile, offer the other cheek, and you’ll be fine. (And hope that your seatmate’s parents taught them the same!)

    @Dang- Couldn’t agree more. I’m based in Sydney and regularly fly non-US airlines passing through non-US airports … it IS a pleasure to fly outside the US.

    Lastly @John- you’re the luckiest frequent flyer I’ve ever run across.

  • Simon

    I’m a million miler at AA and I always dress nicely when I fly. I know my dress and demeanor doesnt go unnoticed by the crew, especially when I am recognized from a prior trip. Just because air travel has become uncivilized doesnt mean I have to become uncivilized myself.

  • Phil

    Flew on a Agean Airlines flight a few years ago, and everyone was smartly dressed. Men had suits on, women dressed beautifully, I felt very out of place and I dress fairly nicely for flying, but did not expect what I saw. When I see the pigs I fly with in North America, all I can do is shake my head, but then this is America.

  • S.E,

    I would like to dress “nicely” (and used to do so), but I have foot and knee problems. The walking required in the airports I use prohibits dress shoes (at least for me). I have to wear very stable & comfortable shoes, and these shoes tend to influence the rest of what I wear. So I wear slacks or dress jeans and a nice top / jacket. If travelers weren’t required to walk long distances,and weren’t stuffed into very small seats, perhaps they would dress more appropriately . Unfortunately those who dress improperly even for church are unlikely to dress “properly” for travel.

  • Dang

    @Karen an @Josh – I believe Josh, because it happened to me to ask for an upgrade and usually get it. American Airlines and Air Canada are among them. Surely, you need to have a handsome attire and an attractive personality (for example : look classy, polite, or movie star look alike… or sometimes just look to be rich help…).

    @Albert – Like the long-haul regular as you – I never wear a tie but dressed properly for dinner service and as soon as the service ended, I can’t wait to slip into the pyjamas given by the Airlines. BA and TG have comfortable pyjamas. Usually, I feel a 12 hours flight is short a good sleep, because the dining service took 2 hours and the before landing dining service took 2 hours too. a 15 hours flight is perfect for a good sleep.

  • Pplaresilly

    I dress according to where I am traveling e.g vacation, I wear comfortable vacation clothes and flip flops or sneakers not business attire. If I were going on a business trip then business attire would be worn – I am not dressing to please a flight attendant or anyone else, I should be respected as a PAYING passenger with the perks that come along with that status.

  • http://www.hotmail.com Jenniferwriter

    I’ve never quite understood why some people think dressing nicely and comfort are mutually exclusive. They’re not – in fact, you’ll never “feel” well-dressed if you aren’t comfortable with what you’re wearing – it will show up in your demeanor. It is possible to wear stylish & comfortable clothes. As for people who need super sturdy shoes, the footwear industry is finally catching onto the idea that women who need to wear supportive footwear might also want some style with those shoes!

    On the same topic, I would suggest everyone who is interested in how people dress while traveling should track down an Aug. 9 edition of The New Yorker and read the essay from David Sedaris about flying.

    The paragraph from that piece that has made it into the blogosphere is:

    “I should be used to the way Americans dress when travelling, yet it still manages to amaze me. It’s as if the person next to you had been washing shoe polish off a pig, then suddenly threw down his sponge, saying, “(Screw) this, I’m going to Los Angeles!”

    There is also a riff on a family in line in front of him in which a young man with stringy red hair was wearing a shirt that said “Freaky Motheraf*@#%&!” Sedaris has a hilarious riff, wondering how the kid decided on that particular shirt for that particular day…

  • Carver

    Count me as one of those people that couldn’t care less what other’s are wearing.

  • Carrie Charney

    I’m with Carver!

    @Phil – So “when pigs fly” isn’t really that “out there”…

  • MeanMeosh

    A jerk wearing a suit is just as much of a jerk wearing a t-shirt and flip-flops. Common courtesy can and should go a lot farther than how you dress.

  • carver

    @Meanmosh

    Exactly. A smile, a thank you, and a please go farther than one’s clothings ever will.

  • Montalban

    If this is just a bus that flies then I’m seriously overpaying!

  • Tom

    A few years ago, I had an African American woman as a boss and we were scheduled to take a flight together. She asked what I would wear and I said jeans and casual clothes. In response, she said that as an African American she either had to dress up on the plane or be treated poorly and since I was traveling with her, I should do the same. We were treated nicely. Afterwards, I discovered that whenever I wore a tie on the plane, I was treated much better by everybody from airport personnel to cabin crew. I’m not an advocate of formal dress and seldom wear a tie but make an exception when flying. It might be more comfortable to dress like a bum on the airplane, but unfortunately, that’s how you will be treated. Try wearing a tie next time you fly.

  • Srfrgrl1

    It would be nice if the airlines…especially UA…cleaned (or updated) their cabins. Seats, carpeting, tray tables, lavatories, etc. are often filthy. There might be more incentive to “dress up” if the airlines did their part to make the challenge of air travel a little more pleasant.

  • Jean

    I normally dress neatly, in what my company calls business casual, when I travel. However, I’ve found a different way to honor the hard-working crew. I am elite, so I get to board early. I carry bags of Hershey kisses with me, and shortly after I board I find an opportunity to take one of them to a flight attendant, usually one working in the galley (I always try very hard not to disrupt the boarding process or interrupt a flight attendant who is in the middle of something). I hand him/her the bag, say that its a bunch of kisses from a grateful passenger who appeciates what they do, and ask that the bag be shared with the rest of the crew. I always have a big smile on my face when I deliver my kisses. The reaction I get is always VERY positive. Often the other flight attendants make an opportunity to come by my seat to say thanks, and often I find that some of them will come by and chat when they have spare time. It apparently changes me from just a customer to a friend and supporter, and it gives the flight attendants a lift, at least for a few minutes. I don’t do it to get better service or favors, I just do it to tell them that I respect and appreciate them. It’s amazing what a little kindness will do!

  • W. T. Zander

    When I was an airline captain I once upgraded a passenger to first class just because of the way he was dressed and his lack of ANY carry-ons! He came down the jetway in a suit and tie with absolutely nothing in his hand…no suitcase, no briefcase, no computer, not even a book or magazine. The sight was so unusual that I called customer service and had him upgraded on the spot.
    My airline even had to add a requirement that passengers wear shoes after we had so many passengers in Hawaii get on barefoot!

  • Daggmar

    @Jean – what a marvelous idea to present the crew with a bag of Hershey’s Kisses! That has given me an idea for my next trip in a few weeks! The candies are easy to travel with and since they are individually wrapped, one doesn’t have to worry about any contamination. Good thinking!
    And on another note – I always dress presentably when I fly (even with the ‘granny’ shoes!) A school principal once told me that ‘grooming and dress are non-verbal means of communication’. Freshly showered and dressed with minimal perfume and a bit of makeup, I am always treated well on flights I take. And I always thank the crew and pilots as I leave the plane.

  • Ernest

    I retired 13 years ago from a job where wearing a tie was not something I wore (I was a soldier for 24 years). Now I travel out of the US frequently for pleasure and am spending between 90 and 120 days a year gone on vacation.

    I wear the same uniform no matter what I do, flying or touring. Blue Jeans, a Brown Tshirt, Black Sox and walking shoes. Its the same uniform I wear at home when I am not traveling. Its clean, not dammaged and I never worry about my wardrobe, I have dozens of the identical item. I won’t buy anything else.

    That being said, I do occasionally wear a button up shirt over my Brown T because I realize that tshirts are not always acceptable. My button shirts are all identical also and I have lots of them. Einstein may have thought of it first but it really is easier to hit the day running without worrying what to wear and since I am in the ‘enjoying retirement’ phase of life, I see no reason to make it difficult. That, and the fact that I am not hung up on fancy clothes make it easier to do what I want to do comfortably.

    I fly business class every time and I have never had a problem with the flight crew but that probably has to do with my being respectful to those in authority rather than my clothes.

    On thing that I HAVE noticed is that I get screened by TSA more when wearing my T shirts than when I have a button shirt over it. I have found over the years that I get the extra screening about 70% of the time I wear a T shirt through security and only about 10% of the time I wear a real shirt.

    Being respectful to the airline staff has nothing to do with what you are wearing, it has to do with your attitude and respect for the world in general.

  • http://www.roamingtales.com Caitlin @ Roaming Tales

    You are more likely to get an upgrade internationally than domestically because the tickets are more expensive and therefore the business and first-class cabins are usually less full. Sadly it’s never happened to me even when I’m well-dressed and ask nicely but it’s happened to my mother on JAL and parents-in-law on Qantas without even asking, even though neither of them are frequent flyers.

  • DWM

    I’m not sure who is responsible for a “dress code of respect”, the passengers or the airlines.

    I took my family on a weekend trip to SF this past weekend. I agree with the idea that people seem to not care that their dress is disrespectful. I saw people on the planes wearing flannel pajama pants, people wearing their pajamas to the hotel breakfast buffet, etc. I think part of it is our culture, and I try to allow for that, but I’m not so sure treating an airplane or your hotel breakfast lobby as your personal bedroom is the best way to do things.

    I certainly don’t. For the past 4 years, whenever I fly, I wear khakis and a polo. Nothing fancy, I don’t wear a tie, but I do avoid jeans, t-shirts, and other other more casual attire. Even when traveling with my family, I still think it gets nicer service from airline employees.

    Nonetheless, boarding my return trip on Sunday at SFO, I was surprised to see my gate attendant wearing a nice blue Delta blazer and blouse, but with jeans that had a tear in them! In MSP, my Delta gate attendant wore a blue Delta t-shirt. Maybe on Sundays employees can “dress down”, but if they give better service to better-dressed people, then I think they should adhere to their own dress code standards too.

  • http://www.gojoestore.com Joe Gresham

    There is no doubt that the service is better when dressed up for travel. But, I think it is a life lesson all around. The image you present does matter in many circumstances and first impressions offen rule the day.

  • Jrolfsness

    Mr. Zander were you once in the Army Air Corps? If so can you email me at Jrolfsness@gmail.com? I have a class year book of my grandfathers from his flight training. A W.T. Zander was in his flight detachment, so I googled your name.