Coming soon: full-body scanners at salad bars?

Sounds absurd, I know, but after the latest report that terrorists are targeting our all-you-can-eat restaurants, would anyone be surprised?

The plot, uncovered earlier this year, is said to involve the use of two poisons – ricin and cyanide – slipped into salad bars and buffets, according to CBS News.

It comes just as we’ve begun digesting a generous serving of more false terror alarms, notably at Newark airport, Rome, and several UK airports.

In a related development, a survey released by the U.S. Travel Association this morning found 8 in 10 people said they support a trusted traveler program that would provide alternative screening measures for Americans who submit to a background check and meet other risk criteria. I wonder if that would include a trip to the salad bar?

Respondents also said they would take an average of two to three more trips per year if the hassle involved in flying could be reduced without compromising security. Those additional trips would add $84.6 billion in travel spending and support 888,000 additional jobs, according to the survey.

Roger Dow, president of the U.S. Travel Association, said the government should pay attention to the results:

Americans are clamoring for a better way, and it should be a wake-up call for our leaders in Washington. An efficient air travel security screening system that streamlines the process for trusted travelers can strengthen our security and economy. Let’s get to work building the system Americans crave.

Guess what? It looks as if Washington is paying attention. I’ve already reported on pending legislation aimed at stopping the pat-down and scanning abuses by America’s federalized airport screeners.

Exhibit A today is U.S. Rep. John J. Duncan Jr. (R-Tenn.) who is campaigning to end what he calls “invasive” TSA screening procedures.

Congressional hearings on the scanners and pat-downs are likely to be held in 2011. The congressman sits on two panels with jurisdiction over the TSA.

Duncan doesn’t buy the agency’s line that pat-downs and scans are necessary.

We’ve got to have some balance and common sense about this stuff. If we spent 100 percent of the federal budget on security, we couldn’t make the country totally, completely safe. You just can’t do it. We have plenty of security at the airports right now.

It turns out the Republican who is in charge of the committee that oversees TSA is a kindred spirit, according to a report in Slate. Jason Chaffetz (R-Utah) who will run the subcommittee that oversees the Department of Homeland Security, has already forced TSA to revise significant details of its strip-search story — admitting, essentially, that it lied.

According to the report, Chaffetz was one of the first Republicans to oppose whole-body imaging, and kept opposing it after the Christmas bomber debacle inspired the DHS to take a second look at the scanners.

Meanwhile, for those of you who still don’t think full-body scanners and pat-downs are a big deal, here’s some interesting reading from CNN.com about victims of sexual abuse who undergo screening.

Given the Department of Homeland Security’s unchecked expansion of its Orwellian If You See Something, Say Something campaign, and its plans to install full-body scanners wherever it can, is it only a matter of time before we have to walk through one of these machines at Souplantation?

Update (6:30 p.m.). Secretary Napolitano apparently doesn’t think “If You See Something, Say Something” is Orwellian enough, so she’s outdone herself in this self-congratulatory press release, issued a few minutes ago: “Over the past year, our efforts have been guided by one simple yet powerful idea: homeland security begins with hometown security.”

Puh-leeze.

(Photo: Ciot/Flickr Creative Commons)

  • Tom

    All you can eat restaurants and pretty toxic themselves without any help from terrorists. Greasy food, hidden behind sneeze guards, with hundreds of people of questionable health picking over the food — no thanks.

    Still, this smacks of an urban legend. Really, if you consider the amount of PR the terrorists got on 9 11 with the amount they would get if 20 people were sickened at Golden Corral, it doesn’t seem worth their while. If a few extra people got sick after eating at Arby’s, it wouldn’t move the needle.

  • http://frequentlyflying.com Darren

    Even IATA agrees that the current airport security model is “an incredible mess” and is also proposing a trusted traveler program. I’m hoping for one, and would be among those 80 percent of people who would support it.

    In addition to buffets, what about our train stations? While aviation has always been a target, terrorists will undoubtedly continue to expand.

  • Thomas

    The government will find a way to suck every dollar out of your wallet. I have a TWIC card. It’s a card issued by TSA that allows my access into ports in the US. They run FBI, criminal, HS checks to obtain one. Will this get me through an airport any faster ? NO!

    Look at all the programs they already have. Each one costs more and more, and they’re all the same checks. A NEXUS card won’t get you into a port, yet the checks are the same.

  • buster

    I thought we were done whining and sniveling about scanners and pat downs. And victims of sexual abuse don’t like it? Um, not sure what that has to do with air travel security. Kind of seems like a cheap shot to throw their tortured past into the mix to try to bolster your point of view, doesn’t it? Come on Chris, you gonna parade child abuse victims around next?

    I hear a lot of complaining but no real, effective and workable solutions. Trusted traveller works well…. until it doesn’t and an A380 goes down with 450 people.

  • Thomas

    I just saw a post online where the Washington Post said that 64% of the American public aproves of the full body scanners. Of couse, this was based on 514 people. that comes to .00000016% of the population. America has spoken, they want the scanners !!!!!!

  • BucksterSF

    Really, are we gonna miss people that flock to Buffets?

  • BucksterSF

    But seriously – “In the U.S., the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) estimates that 1809 people die each year from pathogens transmitted via food.”

    And that’s the proven ones.

    They need a better angle.

  • Sommer Gentry

    Buster, I will never, *ever* be done protesting the TSA’s horrific, unjustifiable, sexual assaults perpetrated on innocent people. Never. Got it? You grab for my genitals, and you’ve made an enemy for life. I will never stop fighting and you will never stop hearing from me and from thousands of other courageous Americans until this physical and sexual abuse ends.

    My body is my own. I’m going to repeat that until you get it, until this country gets it. Get your filthy hands out of my pants, John Pistole! “until an A380 goes down..” is a non-sequitor fit for a fear-mongering coward. Asthma kills more people every year than terrorism has in all recorded history.

    I’ve just finished comforting my mother, my very own precious mother, who spent an hour sobbing with fear and dread at the thought of being touched in a sexual way by a stranger tomorrow. I haven’t slept in weeks, and I’ve already vowed never to fly again to prevent them from getting their disgusting hands on me.

  • Brooklyn

    I’m strongly opposed to any program that gives some people a pass while subjecting a smaller group to the pornoscanners and gropes. Don’t forget that this group of victims would inevitably include people who only travel occasionally – such as low-income families, older people and immigrants – and who are the most likely to be confused and upset by the experience. If the scans and gropes are a human rights violation – and make no mistake, they are – then they are a violation of anyone’s and everyone’s rights. It’s become extremely clear that no amount of screening will protect us. What we need is a policy similar to the one that US schools are using to prevent kids from showing up with assault rifles and massacring their classmates and teachers: they check for weapons, but they also teach children not to be bullies and to exercise tolerance and kindness. There’s a lesson here: if you don’t want to be hated, don’t be hateful. What we need is basic, pre-TSA level screening at airports, plus policy changes from our Government that will make us less likely to be perceived as the world’s bullies and as a target for retaliation.

  • cjr

    “I thought we were done whining and sniveling about scanners and pat downs”

    Yes, it seems Americans like you are done standing up for their Constitutional rights. Congrats; our Founding Fathers are rolling in their graves. Why do you enjoy seeing the terrorists win?

    “I hear a lot of complaining but no real, effective and workable solutions.”

    Then you’ve got your head buried in the sand. Plenty of real, effective, and workable solutions have been given in recent weeks, months, and in fact years. It’s just that people like you, Pistole and Napolitano prefer good ol’ kabuki security theater and all the ignorance it brings.

  • Bill

    Have you somehow lost a rationality test before posting issues Chris?
    You are going from Nazi’s to buffet food vendors.
    Your posts have moved into a zone that comes across as downright desparate.

  • Duke Nukem

    Sure, put WTMD & AIT scanners in your local McD’s, I’m sure *that* will help the economy….

  • Mary Graham

    Geez, who are some of you people anyway? Oh, I know, TSA agents, right?

  • BucksterSF

    @Sommer Gentry: “I haven’t slept in weeks, and I’ve already vowed never to fly again…”

    Well at least people are being reasonable about this.

    “I’ve just finished comforting my mother, my very own precious mother, who spent an hour sobbing with fear and dread at the thought of being touched in a sexual way by a stranger tomorrow.”

    As opposed to another one of your mothers? Sobbing in fear? Really? This issue is too far overblown and this melodramatic essay is my proof. Slavery still exists in the world, children go hungry every night, genocide. And this keeps you awake?

  • Carrie Charney

    @ Brooklyn: I just gave you a standing ovation.

    Kabuki theater is a venerated Japanese tradition. Please stop equating it with the TSA spectacle. Thanks.

  • http://nmdfreelance.com Nancy

    I still say bring on the dogs.

    We have dogs that can sniff out explosives, drugs, bed bugs, you name it, there’s a dog that can smell it out.

    Cheaper, helps to empty out the animal shelters across the country, much more friendly, easier to take when a dog jams their nose into a, er, um, private place, and they treat people better than does the TSA agents.

  • Lisa S

    Napolitano is a joke. When are they going to replace her?

    The terrorists don’t need to poison buffets. A report just came out about chromium in Chicago water. Industry in America is already killing or at least causing injury to many people in America. The “terrorists” just need to wait a while.

  • Ernest

    I see a lot of crying here about things that have nothing to do with security. At the risk of hurting feelings, I don’t care about any one elses mother, daughter, sexually abused whatever. I also don’t think it is about civil rights, abuse of minorities or criminal actions.

    Its about stopping our lives with terror and it does not matter who does it, bad guys or our own government. We all have our own ideas and you will not agree with mine. The truth is (my truth) that most people dont care what your truth is. TSA needs an effective way of identifying people who want to terrorize us and I think that includes some of the posters on this blog.

    I don’t like the machines because I don’t trust them and I don’t trust the governments assurances that they are safe. I don’t trust TSA as a government agency because they are just like most agencies trying to be a kingdom unto themselves, power hungry and bloated. I do trust the workers that put up with our screaming and crying because they are trying to do their job. Many people have indicated that there is a better way and if you think so, I do, then work to make it happen instead of making up issues that have nothing to do with security.

    I would hope that all of those who think it is about sex, perversion or power will stay home just to show TSA they won’t take it anymore. Maybe it will make my passage through the airport a little smoother.

  • hungry traveller

    Here’s an idea. Put all salad bars in the “secure” areas of airports. Thus, our Romaine stays pure and air travellers get healthier food …